Once upon a time there was a pretty pink princess of magical proportions. This princess was the pinkest and prettiest in all of the land. All of her subjects bowed before her because she was a princess and has no real fucking duties like the queen did. Everybody hated the queen. Because the queen was an asshole that made the people pay taxes. Everybody hates taxes.
One day her father who was the king(duh!) decided that the queen was such an asshole that he would violently stab her to death. So he did. Then the kingdom became a violent shithole because it had no one to rule over it. So the king realized that he had to get a queen because he was too lazy to rule the kingdom himself. So he made the pretty pink princess of magical proportions the queen.
But of course that left the king childless. He had no children to whip with his belt. So he had to have children. And who better to have children with than the queen he thought. Fucking idiot. He didn't realized that because she was his daughter the children would end up mindless fucks just like the king (Hint hint, it runs in the family). So he had sex with his daughter.
Six months later she gave birth to a brainless bunch of octuplets. Six of the eight were brain dead mentally disabled idiots. Two of them could not stop humping the wall. So the sextopia dynasty began. After many years it bloomed into a fabulous dynasty of perverts and homosexuals. All living together under one roof.
There was Michael. The first born child of the family. He is a complete retard. To call him mentally disabled would be an insult to mentally disabled people. He is so incredibly stupid that this story had to break it's streak of political correctness just to describe to you how stupid he is. Michael has one wife and no kids. This is because the wife(Who he bought from a farmer that he met in Canada with two pigs and a slice of cheese.) got kicked in the ovaries by a pig whilst on her farm home and lost the ability to have children. Which is probably a good thing.
Then there is Cocain. He is named so because at the time of his birth the king was wildly addicted to cocain. You see, between each child in the pretty pink princess' birthing period there was a very, VERY long period of time during which the pretty pink princess just sat there panting like a little bitch(Man up you little asshole!). During the seventh and final period of time, the king decided that he was extremely stressed out and sought a drug to cure his affliction. Eventually he found cocain and the rest is history.
There's also Herbert. Herbert is gay. That's all you need to know.
The useless annoying shit of the family is Larry. Larry is also incredibly stupid, but not quite as stupid a Michael. He manages to speak in normal sentences but no matter how hard he tries he CANNOT MAKE A MOTHER FUCKING BURRITO! In the land of Sextopia, the art of burrito making is everything. Failure to make a burrito will result in you being a social outcast. But because his father is the king, the douchebag gets to live. For now...
This brings us to George. George is not mentally disabled and does have the ability to make a burrito. So he is not defined as "stupid" in the land of Sextopia. He is however incredibly dull. He failed his high school classes and dropped out because he didn't want to "live under the power of the man". Ironically he could have just asked his father to pass him and he would have gotten his diploma. After dropping out he went to pursue a singing career. He sucked. Ten innocent people died attempting to listen to his music before he finally quit. Then he pursued acting. He sucked. Seven innocent people died when he forgot that the gun he was holding was not the prop gun. Finally he decided that he was fed up witht he "haters" and moved back to Sextopia where he became a farmer. He occasionally attempts to sing a One Direction songs and ends up killing birds. For this reason a glass dome has been placed around his living space for the good of all. There are no aliens inside the dome, only George. At least as far as you know.
The sixth child, and the last of the retards, is Cocophanantitularhopsitrosiphinia. He died at birth. But not before his father(who was high at the time) gave him an incredibly stupid name. Rest in peace.Cocophaniawhutsit.
In seventh place comes Jesus. The dynasty of sextopia is not a religious dynasty. Thus this name is O.K. in their minds. God on the other hand does not agree and occasionally hits the castle with lightning. These strikes have been labeled as coincidence.
The Eight child was born seventh. Which is ironic considering that his father was a seventh son as well. And the son before that... and the one before that too. I'm seeing a pattern here! The eighth child is to be referred to as "He Who Shall Not Be Named". By order of the king. We're not really sure what his real name is. This is because the king is a big Harry Potter fan. It may also be because he's constantly high, but who can tell? He Who Shall Not Be Named is considered to be a "Class A Genius". Of course it's the king that has labeled him as this so one can never be sure.
This is all you need to know about the dynasty of sextopia. Perhaps it is all that you will ever need to know about the dynasty of sextopia. Regardless, you probably didn't want to hear this story and you really didn't have a choice. Anyways, you should post this story in seven different places before the ghost of the queen gets you. I hear people get really horny after they die.
But of course that left the king childless. He had no children to whip with his belt. So he had to have children. And who better to have children with than the queen he thought. Fucking idiot. He didn't realized that because she was his daughter the children would end up mindless fucks just like the king (Hint hint, it runs in the family). So he had sex with his daughter.
Six months later she gave birth to a brainless bunch of octuplets. Six of the eight were brain dead mentally disabled idiots. Two of them could not stop humping the wall. So the sextopia dynasty began. After many years it bloomed into a fabulous dynasty of perverts and homosexuals. All living together under one roof.
There was Michael. The first born child of the family. He is a complete retard. To call him mentally disabled would be an insult to mentally disabled people. He is so incredibly stupid that this story had to break it's streak of political correctness just to describe to you how stupid he is. Michael has one wife and no kids. This is because the wife(Who he bought from a farmer that he met in Canada with two pigs and a slice of cheese.) got kicked in the ovaries by a pig whilst on her farm home and lost the ability to have children. Which is probably a good thing.
Then there is Cocain. He is named so because at the time of his birth the king was wildly addicted to cocain. You see, between each child in the pretty pink princess' birthing period there was a very, VERY long period of time during which the pretty pink princess just sat there panting like a little bitch(Man up you little asshole!). During the seventh and final period of time, the king decided that he was extremely stressed out and sought a drug to cure his affliction. Eventually he found cocain and the rest is history.
There's also Herbert. Herbert is gay. That's all you need to know.
The useless annoying shit of the family is Larry. Larry is also incredibly stupid, but not quite as stupid a Michael. He manages to speak in normal sentences but no matter how hard he tries he CANNOT MAKE A MOTHER FUCKING BURRITO! In the land of Sextopia, the art of burrito making is everything. Failure to make a burrito will result in you being a social outcast. But because his father is the king, the douchebag gets to live. For now...
This brings us to George. George is not mentally disabled and does have the ability to make a burrito. So he is not defined as "stupid" in the land of Sextopia. He is however incredibly dull. He failed his high school classes and dropped out because he didn't want to "live under the power of the man". Ironically he could have just asked his father to pass him and he would have gotten his diploma. After dropping out he went to pursue a singing career. He sucked. Ten innocent people died attempting to listen to his music before he finally quit. Then he pursued acting. He sucked. Seven innocent people died when he forgot that the gun he was holding was not the prop gun. Finally he decided that he was fed up witht he "haters" and moved back to Sextopia where he became a farmer. He occasionally attempts to sing a One Direction songs and ends up killing birds. For this reason a glass dome has been placed around his living space for the good of all. There are no aliens inside the dome, only George. At least as far as you know.
The sixth child, and the last of the retards, is Cocophanantitularhopsitrosiphinia. He died at birth. But not before his father(who was high at the time) gave him an incredibly stupid name. Rest in peace.Cocophaniawhutsit.
In seventh place comes Jesus. The dynasty of sextopia is not a religious dynasty. Thus this name is O.K. in their minds. God on the other hand does not agree and occasionally hits the castle with lightning. These strikes have been labeled as coincidence.
The Eight child was born seventh. Which is ironic considering that his father was a seventh son as well. And the son before that... and the one before that too. I'm seeing a pattern here! The eighth child is to be referred to as "He Who Shall Not Be Named". By order of the king. We're not really sure what his real name is. This is because the king is a big Harry Potter fan. It may also be because he's constantly high, but who can tell? He Who Shall Not Be Named is considered to be a "Class A Genius". Of course it's the king that has labeled him as this so one can never be sure.
This is all you need to know about the dynasty of sextopia. Perhaps it is all that you will ever need to know about the dynasty of sextopia. Regardless, you probably didn't want to hear this story and you really didn't have a choice. Anyways, you should post this story in seven different places before the ghost of the queen gets you. I hear people get really horny after they die.